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Me Carissa 20 Credits Layout design by Eefennie. No part of this site should be duplicated or reproduced without written permission. x x x |
Wednesday, January 22, 2014 Incredible. Cycle repeats, ONCE AGAIN. Yes, right after you enjoy your gathering with your friends you came back telling me how sorry you are. WOW. How many times I have been hurt this way? How many times I have begged you? How many times must I suffer this again? Yes your friends are so impt to you. How about me? Am I not? When they insulted me through social medias, you saw it you knew about it but what have you done for me? You tried to keep quiet. Tried to breeze through it. Wow. It's only when I spoke up for myself. What will you tell me? Don't take it to heart. They are childish and blah blah blah.. Nothing done to them. Yes, I did the same thing in the past. What did I get? You reprimand me, scold me, blame me. Yes just blame everything on me. SOLELY ME. I don't feel protected at all. So, you invited me to the Taiwan trip, to gatherings. I wanted to go. But they don't. They rejected my presence. Do I feel good about it? Do I? And you as my bf, did you speak up for me? No you din. When they don't want, all you do is to tell me not to go. You don't try to talk to them. Yes, this is the guy who expected me to PUT ALL MY TRUST IN. Someone who doesn't protect her gf. What's more important is the interest of YOUR FRIENDS. I feel so insignificant in your life compared to your friends, your family. For you I even argued with my friends or get angry with them when they did the exact same thing YOURS FRIENDS did to me. But I guess all this while the efforts and actions I have done for you were nv recognised at all. I'm so tired... So tired of this. 2 years plus you have never proven to me that you will choose me over them.. Last sunday really broke my heart.. I was sick and going hungry with food. This is the time when I needed you the most. I cried alone on my bed... Feeling so terrible mentally and physically. All you did was going all out to PUT ME DOWN, TO INSULT ME, TO KILL ME INSIDE OUT. Yes, you... You went all out just to GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Did you even realised that all these while you have been going all out to kill me just to attend your gatherings with them? Never for once you would hear my cryings or my beggings not to go. I know you did all these because you don't want to miss the gatherings with them. So you choose to hurt me... Yes hurting me again and again for them. You know why I hate them? Because of them I suffered a lot a lot a lot. So much that this hatred is so strong. Yes thanks to you. If you ever stood by me, things would have turn out much better. Thanks to your friends, I have seen your true colours. Thanks to them, I realise that you are not worth my trust. Thanks to them, serving as checkpoints to let me realise that I'm nothing compared to them. Thanks to them, you broke my hearts countlessly. Thanks to them, I cried endlessly. Most importantly, thanks to you. Now, I realise how much pain my heart can exactly takes. Yes you.... I don't know what I'm waiting for all these while. Waiting for you to meet me when you are free? And kicked aside when you need to meet your friends? What am I waiting for? So I've been constantly waiting for you everyday. Your sms, your calls, your presence. And yes, I really wanna be treated as a princess when you book out. I want to assure myself that I'm not taken for granted. I want to know that my life is not all about waiting and waiting for you. Yes, I really want you to find me at Chinese garden during the weekends when we go on a date. Is this really unfair to you? Then, what's fair to me? I don't expect fairness here. I just wanna be treated as your gf. Suffering everyday.. Every single day...... Penning down; 10:12 PM |