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Me Carissa 20 Credits Layout design by Eefennie. No part of this site should be duplicated or reproduced without written permission. x x x |
Saturday, January 18, 2014 Been so long I pen down my thoughts. I have been suppressing the negativities inside me, so much that I feel ... lost (?) Months since you are serving your NS. Days, hours, minutes and seconds just slipped away. Do you ever know how it feels waiting for your love one everyday? Do you know how it feel when I need you but I can't find you? Do you know how it feels when you are on the verge of breaking down, you aint by me? Five months ago, I'm that girl who depend on you so much. I'm someone who can't spend a day without you. I need you desperately As time past, I can survived without contacting you more than 24 hrs. I can live without seeing you for at least 5 days every week. Yes, I did it. I have to do it. But... I questioned myself, do you even appreciate? You scolded me for using whatsapp DAY AND NIGHT. I don't. I used it to discuss things with friends, I don't even contact anyone else individually other than wt. Do you have to deprived my only social network to connect with my friends? I feel really sad when you accused me for using whatsapp excessively. I'm out here everyday facing the world alone and you are saying all these to me. I don't feel good at all. 2 weeks into 2014 and we have not meet for two weekends alr. I can't believe you are still doing all these. I don't have much time once I start school. All the school assignments and studies are gradually killing me. You don't even see the limited time I'm left to spend with you on weekends. You waste them away just like this. Now, my sat is gone... All my weekends were reserved for you. School starts I can't do this anymore. Yet, you don't treasure them. This really saddens me a lot. You can do it so easily. Just by not meeting me. You don't even know how much I wanna meet you. Do you know that I really hate to meet so late because in a day there's only 24 hours. How much time is left for us? Do you know I really hate to waste time? WHY after so long you still don't get it. I don't have a lot of time with you. Every week I'm just limited to this amt of time to see you. Everyday I'm looking forward to the weekends to find you and spend time with you. We don't even have much time tgt yet you always choose to just waste it. That pain inside me. I can feel that you don't have the urge to meet me. I can feel that meeting me or not does not matters to you. I want to feel the urge from you. I want to know that you really want to meet me. But why? Every week something have to happen. I don't want to live with regrets. I really don't want to waste my weekend away. what if I really give up on this? I'm really so tired..... I can't control my tears. I can't feel myself anymore. I feel like I'm losing faith in this rs. I don't feel like I can hold on any longer.... I really feel so scared. I really want to treasure the time with my love one. I've got not much time with my hectic school life. I want you to treasure everyday. I'm so tired..... Please help me... Please tell me what to do.... I don't know wht to do anymore. I really hope you understands me. I really hope you know what I want. But why? After so long you don't und that I don't want to waste any of my days with you. I really got no idea what to do anymore. Help me please. I can't stop crying. Im crying so badly.... I can't stop. I can't help myself. I'm so weak... I'm really weak.. I must stop.... I keep telling I must.... But I can't... I can't..... I can't even see what I'm typing right now. I can't breathe.. I'm having a terrible headache. I don't know how long must I lead such a life. I'm so helpless. Penning down; 10:00 PM |