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Me Carissa 20 Credits Layout design by Eefennie. No part of this site should be duplicated or reproduced without written permission. x x x |
Thursday, December 27, 2012 Aching. Physically and mentally exhuasted. 16 months of relationship, I really wanna give it up. Can I just let it go? Pls heart tell me I can. Pls mind tell me I can. I'm drained. I'm so tired. I know I haven been able to fit in as a good girlfriend. I'm flawed, I understand. Jealousy has always been my vital weakness. Too many girls surrounding you. Too many times I see those girls hanging around you for anything and everything. How many times you told me it's all due to your fyp. Yet, how many times I see you involving in so many other things other than fyp. Tell me how to be convinced. My heart, my mind just kept struggling. I told myself, I need to understand, I have to understand, I MUST understand. Too many times it was just futile efforts. I tried you know. I just couldn't take it. I don't want to share my own guy with other girls, hanging around you. Would you even bother to understand my feeling? Yes, you always want me to trust, just tell me how am I suppose to? I tried, then I saw more photos, more activities, more news between you and them. Socialising? This is how good your socialising skills are. Crying, incessantly crying. I might get depression as time pass. I always got so depressed that tears can fall down just like this. I brokedown today. Do you ever realise tears are filled with emotions? But why must you bang the table and threaten to hit me when I cried. It breaks my heart. If I could control, I would. Yes, useless me. I just wish for someone who can appreciate my tears. I'm so tired of being alone, crying alone. This have always been a reason why I'm so used to crying alone, in my own room or under my blankets. I just wanna find someone who will learn to appreciate my tears. I don't break down infront of anyone. Not anyone. I'm tired.. Perhaps one day I might just get used to being hit and push. My hand is swollen and even my mum got worried. You pushed me so hard so many times to the wall. You strangled my neck and threaten to hit me for so many times. I'm tired... I'm so tired. I'm really tired.. Can anyone tell me what to do? I really wanna let go. You have been hitting me again and again for so many times. I'm a girl.. I'm a girl.. I'm just a girl... No matter how I got physically to you. Do you even think it will hurt as much as your blows to me? Why don't you just kill me. Just kill me so I can let go like this. How many times I forgive you for getting physical to me? How many times. Yes, You can just hit me all you want. I wanna tell someone, I want ppl to help me. Just help me to get our of such life. So when you can't control and being physical to me. I had enough of my life. I'm so tired of crying. Bring me away someone. Penning down; 9:40 PM |