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Me Carissa 20 Credits Layout design by Eefennie. No part of this site should be duplicated or reproduced without written permission. x x x |
Tuesday, July 10, 2012 Out. Looking at the way you start to talk to girls, having so much fun in class w/o me. I guess I'm out. The way you told me off, just because I was jealous make me ache more. The way you speak to other girls then when it's me? Yeah, I know I'm ugly and fat. I tried my best to shed my fats and doll up for you. I guess, I'm just born to be atrocious.. Never be good enough to compare with those girls out there. Yeah, I wouldn't deny. Today, I tried to find some peace for myself. I went around walking alone again. Walked around looking around, sat down thinking and over-thinking. Tears are so uncontrollable, I tried so hard to hide them. I guess, no ones exactly cares about how I feel. I prefer to cry alone, think alone. I'm certain that no ones bother, they felt irritated. It's true. Those words that punch right onto me when I cried, there are so vivid. I'm irritating, I should shut up. Yeah. You know how much impact it left me? I just hope when I cry, one day the guy that I love will just hug me and tell me everything is okay now. Yet, I know this day won't happen. Nobody would appreciate. I lost faith in everything. I'm so tired to put on a strong front for everyone. Trying to be normal yet deep inside I'm tearing apart. Back home facing all the pressure and harsh words from them. In school, facing all those ignorance and gossips. I felt like I can't handle them. I need a new start somewhere else, in another part of the world. I want to relive my life again. Making the wrongs back to track. I trust no one now, no one. Been putting you as my priority, yet the one that hurt me the most is you. What else can I do to save myself? I feel like dying. I know you won't care. All you cared was to bring me down and scold me. I guess I will never truly get cared by you.... Penning down; 9:29 PM |