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Me Carissa 20 Credits Layout design by Eefennie. No part of this site should be duplicated or reproduced without written permission. x x x |
Monday, February 16, 2009 This is not the way I wanted it to be. This isn't the results I wanted, I wanted something better. I know I should work hard, focus just on studies and NO MORE. But why!? I tried so hard that sometimes,I am close to suffocating. I wonder why must we work so hard at such an age. Shouldn't we at least enjoy ourselves now? BUT WHY!! Maybe I am just not doing enough for everything. I felt so guilty whenever I flunk my test. I put in so much efforts and time studying. Perhaps everything was just too last mins. I need to keep moving everyday! It's just one more year but this journey seems so hard. I wondered how ppl survive. Last monday, I found my sis msn space which she blog about her life for olvl. It was devastating to me. I felt just so useless. During then, when she was striving so hard everyday and it's really everyday! Without fail, she studied and studied just like a robot.Although she seems fine to me, but reading her post she was on the verge of giving up. Her teacher told her that mayb she should try give other's a chance to be first. But somehow, she couldn't let it go. She actually cried everytime when there's exams or tests. It really made me realise. So what if I'm in express stream and my sis is in na. Her spirit overtook me and engulfed mine. She is a true winner. And me? I'm still nothing. I'm too dependant on ppl to pass me knowledge and teaches me til I understand. I am waiting to be spoonfeed. But.. It will just bring me no where. I want to be like my sister. Self-motivated and independant. This is really silly of me to only realise now that I has such a great sister. I look down on her in th past as a NA student. But now, I should be one being looked down. I'm still nothing. My sister tried her best to help me, buying me assesment book, teaching me chem. She is the best sister I would ever had. I will treasure what my sis is doing for me from now on. And I swear, I love her. Penning down; 7:36 PM |